Texter in chief

Is a president with a BlackBerry on his belt really just like the rest of us? From the leaked e-mails of Barack Obama. Satire by Matt Bai, Special to the Los Angeles Times

7:58 a.m.
To: Michelle Obama
From: BHO
In line at Starbucks. Oh wait, they're waving me to the front. Nice. More later.

9:02 a.m.
To: Rahm Emanuel
From: BHO
This meeting will not end. Seriously, look at Boehner. Why so tan? He's from Ohio. What gives?

9:41 a.m.
To: Hillary Clinton
From: BHO
I'm sprawled out on the Oval Office rug, just luxuriating. Thought u'd like to know. LOL.

10:33 a.m.
To: George W. Bush
From: BHO
U were right about the nuke codes gag. Joint Chiefs have zero sense of humor. Your move in online Scrabble, BTW.

12:14 p.m.
To: Michelle Obama
From: BHO
Stuck on Beltway. Oh wait, they're closing it 4 us. Nice. More later.

12:24 p.m.
To: Rick Wagoner
From: BHO
Loving this Caddy limo. But FYI, have u noticed the massive blind spot? Could lose a school bus in there. Never happens in a Honda.

12:57 p.m.
To: Sasha and Malia
From: BHO
I love u both, but for the last time, there ARE no ghosts in the White House. And just BTW, Jimmy Carter is still very much alive.

1:18 p.m.
To: Michelle Obama
From: BHO
In security line at Andrews. Guy with a huge head is getting the full cavity treatment. OMG, it's Larry Summers.

4:41 p.m.
To: Oprah Winfrey
From: BHO
Yes, White House chef can handle, tho not sure how acai fries will taste.

4:59 p.m.
To: Friends of Howard Dean
From: BHO
PLS remove me from this list. I've hit unsubscribe like 80 times.

5:59 p.m.
To: Rahm Emanuel
From: BHO
Dude, who's our Labor sec again? She's here and I cannot for the life of me remember her name.

9:28 p.m.
To: Robert Gates
From: BHO
Watching "24" and it has just gotten so lame. Where'd the FBI get all those toys? U and I both know they couldn't track a nursing home patient to the bathroom.

10:13 p.m.
To: George W. Bush
From: BHO
FYI, "talkation" is not a word. I challenged.

11:24 p.m.
To: Michelle Obama
From: BHO
u coming to bed soon? "Old School" is on HBO again. Will Farrell's about to jog naked.

3:01 a.m.
To: Hillary Clinton
From: BHO
Enuf with the 3 a.m. phone call. It's getting old.

Satire from the Sunday Edition of the St Pete Times, Matt Bai writes on politics for the New York Times Magazine and is the author of The Argument: Inside the Battle to Remake Democratic Politics.